Easier Said Than Done!

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My meditation theme this morning focused on living in the moment – the NOW. Not only was this a challenge for me to meditate on, but also a near impossibility for someone like me who remembers the past like a video recording and who is always looking to the future, wondering what lies ahead!

As I sat in my chair at my living room window contemplating this subject, I watched my neighborhood birds as they visited the birdfeeder outside my window to grab a quick morning snack. I thought about them as they feasted. They didn’t fret over their past or worry about their future. They chirped and sang and filled their bellies. Was it possible for me to do the same?

My past is colored with bold crayons and markers, highlighting both my accomplishments and my shortcomings. And my future colors, which are not identified yet, could be downright frightening if I look at my projected income in retirement and the sure possibility (as all of the literature coming from AARP reminds me) that medical expenses down to road could send me straight into the ditch. What’s a girl to do?

I went all the way to the beginning of my past and looked in on the little girl taking her dolls for a stroll up and down Winnona Drive. All she thought about was growing up, getting married, being a mommy, and living happily ever after. As I watched her in my mind’s eye, I realized that I actually accomplished two out of three of her dreams, plus some that she couldn’t even imagine. The living happily ever after eluded me, as far as marriage went, but the jury is still out on that one. Perhaps living happily ever after can be done without being in wedded bliss. So, if that is the case, I am well on my way to scoring on all three of her dreams, just not exactly as she envisioned them to be.

The future is so fuzzy and uncertain, I will be ecstatic if I am able to shed my fears of the future and concentrate on NOW. Again, I look to the birds outside my window for advice and wisdom. Their future probably is more uncertain than mine is, but they don’t worry about it. They enjoy doing what birds to best – sing, chirp, fly, build nests, and hatch eggs. And they enjoy being what they were created to be – beautiful, delicate creatures that know how to fly. What more can one of God’s creations ask for?

Living in the moment, the present, the NOW, I have this moment to write down my thoughts and share them with the universe. I have this moment to give thanks for all that God has given me, forgiven me for, and has planned for me. I have this moment to look around me and marvel that I am here, in this place, at this time  – that I am alive and experiencing this wonderful thing called life. This is what I have.

This is my happily ever after.

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