Tunnel Vision: My Redemption is Complete


Last night I published my new book, “Tunnel Vision: A Journal I Never Thought I’d Write. In pressing my finger on the Submit key of Createspace, I felt a sense of peace, of completion. It has been almost six years since the events recorded in my book started the ball rolling down a long frightening road, which I repeatedly called My Tunnel, having no better visual to describe where I found myself.

My dear friend, Lynne, stayed by my side during this dark time, and afterward. She is one of the many angels sent to me to rescue me, prop me up, and keep me on solid footing during this period of my life. When I sent her a text this morning to tell her that the book has been released to the universe, her response was:

“Your redemption is complete.”

She is absolutely right. Even though I have successfully put all of this behind me, the scars and tender spots are still there, although fading and becoming fainter with each day. In the past six years, I have picked up the pieces of my life, glued those back together that were worth salvaging, and tossed the rest into the pile labeled “my past.” God has surely blessed me and delivered me. There is not a minute of the day that I am not in a spirit of gratitude to God for bringing me to this day, to this place.

I am whole again, even though I still have some broken edges and a few rough places that catch me from time to time. But God is using these to steer me in the direction God wants me to go. This blog is one of them. For those few loyal readers – and I know there really are only a few of you out there – you have read my stories and my books and know what I am talking about. For anyone new stumbling upon my words today, I invite you to browse through my blog to read more. And if you are really brave, visit Amazon to take a look at my two books that are already published.

My goal is not to become a best-selling author or to make a ton of money on what I write (although a little here and there would surely be received gratefully!). What I want most of all in my life is to touch the heart of one person and change his or her life through something that I write. If that happens, I will have attained my highest goal in my life.

And so it is with this blog entry that I introduce you to my new book and invite you to purchase a copy of it. If you like it, a nice review would be appreciated. If you really like it, please share it with your friends and family and help spread the word that it is out there. For my loyal followers, I thank you from the depths of my soul for sticking with me and enjoying my musings on this blog.




Goodbye 2016. Hello New Year.


The New Year has a way of haunting me as January 1 draws nearer. I know it’s just another day, but for me it’s a time of looking back, taking stock of where I am right now, and gazing ahead for perhaps a glimpse of what is in store for me in the coming year.

The past few nights I have been awakened by dreams reminding me of my past and filling me with a mixture of regrets, feelings of accomplishments, and memories of pure joy, deep sadness, and even loss – all jumbled together in a sleep-depriving slide show of my history. As I contemplated all that is part of who I am, I reached out to God in gratitude for delivering me from evil, for walking beside me during trying times, for teaching me about what real love is all about, and for giving me my life.

And now, today, on New Year’s Eve, I turn the final page of 2016, the pages filled to overflowing with my words, thoughts, prayers, and wishes. I close the book, but I don’t seal it. I can always return to this year in my memories, and be reminded of this great and wonderful gift called life and of the year of 2016. A new book awaits me, its pages blank and ready to receive whatever each day decides to grant me.

Last year I wrote a list of things to NOT DO in the New Year. I didn’t accomplish my goals entirely, but I can report proudly that I have not put on a sports bra backwards in 2016. (See my blog from last year to read my list: https://jennielousdays.wordpress.com/2016/02/01/my-to-dont-do-list/ ). But I also have to admit that I fell off the chocolate wagon over the Christmas holidays, and I enjoyed far too much candy and cookies. The New Year is a good time to re-group, get back into good habits, and take a bold step forward.

2016 is waving goodbye as she approaches the door into years past. She is taking with her tender memories of dear friends I have had to say farewell to this year, of great personal accomplishments that at times seemed daunting and unattainable, of prayers for healing and those answered prayers, of fears over the fate of our nation during the most disturbing political race I’ve ever experienced, and a plethora of moments and days that brought tears to my eyes merely from the pure joy of being alive and acknowledging my small place in this remarkable universe.

As she moves closer to that door, 2016 pauses to glance back at me and with thumbs up and a broad smile, she wishes me Godspeed into 2017.

I pull out my book with blank pages, and I am ready to write!